What would our favourite love/hate-watch television show look like if it happened in Manitoba with the most handsomest Manitoba Bachelor ever (Mr. MB for short)? In the wise words of Chris Harrison it would be “like nothing you’ve ever seen before!” So prepare yourself for an emotional roller coaster full of romance, drama, adventure, and, of course, hyperbole…
First impressions are everything and you know it. Like, seriously, you know you need to make sure your look is ON POINT. So you spend a whole day on Academy Road making yourself a fly gal. You get your nails done at Soul, get your hair did at Bob and Page, and get styled up at Mad about Style. 💅
Alright, now that you’re looking as fine as ever, you hop over to the Exchange District to meet Mr. Right at The Mitchell Block. You quickly discover this place has the perfect atmosphere to meet the love of your life. You walk up (don’t run!) to Mr. MB with a winsome smile, a charming “hello” and NO PROPS (prop people don’t win). You start to feel a connection after a few minutes of small talk. That First Impression Rose is yours. 🌹 OMG. The stars are aligning, people! You start to see your fairy tale ending. 💘
You begin befriending (ahem – sizing up) your fellow contestants, but, like, it’s SOOO not about them — you’re not here to make friends, you’re hear to find love 💕 (cue dramatic music). Then the date card arrives and it says “Ice so want to get to know you better” and you, like, just know Mr. MB is taking your group to The Forks for some frosty frolicking.
But when you get there you find out you have to work HARD on this ice date. Bummer. You and the others compete in an Ice-Off that includes sliding down a gigantic ice slide and tobogganing (with no snogging – boo) through the mouth of a snow polar bear at The Great Ice Show. The first one to race on skates down the river trail and find the Hygge House warming hut wins. And you skate your darn-tooting tail off because you know a rose is on the line here.🌹 You also say goodbye to those new nails.
YES! You get a one-on-one date card and it says “Your presence is required until the last stroke of midnight.” You do your whole “he likes me, he really likes me” dance while still trying to keep it cool in front of the others. 😎 It didn’t work. You definitely receive some steely glares. 😑
Your date begins at Ten Spa where you will both experience a steamy and luxurious hamam together. As you sit in your pestemal wrap sipping on mint tea and sampling some Turkish Delight, you delight in the fact that this is all really happening. And you know, in your heart of hearts, that you are both here for The Right Reasons©. You are, like, so sure of it! You steal a quick kiss. 💋
After the hamam ritual cleanses and purifies your body and skin from toxins, you leave for the MOST ROMANTIC DINNER EVER at the intimate and dimly-lit Sous Sol in Osborne Village. This quiet spot is the perfect time to tell Mr. MB all about your hopes and dreams. He hands you the rose. 🌹 Was there ever any doubt?
You clutch onto that rose tightly as you end the night watching the Royal Winnipeg Ballet’s A Cinderella Story, of course.
We’re getting down to the nitty-gritty and the love stakes couldn’t be higher. A date card comes in and you’re all going to Hecla for the day. (Insert screaming here)
Everyone heads out to Lakeview Resort and suits up for some hard water fishing. You know you need to reel in a big catch to impress the real-ist catch of them all. THIS IS A FISHING THROW DOWN. You pull in a Master Angler. Yes! You then take that fresh catch, fillet it right in front of the group and throw it on the fire. You know what else is on fire? You are! The sun starts to fade while you and Mr. MB feed each other fried pickerel cheeks.
After a cool afternoon on ice, you heat up in the resort’s adult-only aquatic zone. Yes, of course there’s a hot tub involved, but there’s also a hydrokinetic pool, mineral bath and steam room. Today, you’ve felt things you’ve never felt in your life. YOLO! 💗💗💗
Pack your bags, because it’s time to take off to Wat’chee wilderness lodge in Wapusk National Park — the world’s foremost polar bear denning area. It’s there you will watch polar bear cubs emerge from their dens for the very first time. THE CUTENESS IS GOING TO BE TOO MUCH TO HANDLE. The struggle is real. You and Mr. MB tenderly hold hands as you watch the tenderness between a momma bear and her babes.
At night, the sky lights up and dances over you in gigantic swaths of green and blue. This isn’t just a stunning northern lights show, IT’S A SIGN! *sigh*
It just so happens the weekend you make the trek to The Pas for a home town visit is also the same weekend of the Trappers’ Festival. What luck! You arrive just-in-time to catch a beaver hat wearing Mr. MB competing to be crowned King Trapper. OMG, so damn manly! You watch with bated breath (and patriotic pride) as your leg wrestling, canoe packing, axe throwing, bannock baking and tea making hunk battles it out. *blissful shivers*
The rest of the day is spent watching the sled dog races and cheering on the finalists for Fur Queen. You’ve never felt more alive…or welcome in this lovely close-knit community. The weekend ends with you feeling extremely Canadian while you hold your rose. 🌹 Pretty wicked, eh?
Falcon Trails Resort. No comment. 💏
This is it, people! It’s time for the most dramatic rose ceremony yet! You arrive at Festival du Voyageur wearing your new Manitobah Muks and ceinture fléchée (arrowhead sash) and you know you’re looking HAWT! Even the snow sculptures are looking at you (you’re sure of it!). Eternal love is just a few snow drifts away in the Sugar Shack. Mr. MB is there waiting for you! You feel a million emotions. A mix, of seriously, a MILLION emotions. Mr. MB slowly bends on one knee and pulls out a little blue Birks box. 💍 OMG OMG OMG
He pops the question … you take a deep breath … a really deep breath …. and utter softly …
WHAT?! Who saw that coming??? You realize that while you have feelings for Mr. MB, it was the excitement of Manitoba and all its beauty and wonder that was tangling with your emotions. You take a moment to say your goodbyes, you smash back a stiff shot of Caribou, then you leave the Sugar Shack (with a stick of freshly rolled maple taffy) and walk off into the sunset. After all this time, Manitoba was your one true love.
The moral of this love story: Don’t let the lure of Manitoba’s stunning landscapes, delicious cuisine, stylish settings and amazing attractions captivate you into making rash romantic decisions. 🌹